I’m still not sleeping that good you know… This is really getting to be annoying. I don’t want to do anything, especially not come out of the apartment and go in the cold temperature because I am sleepy and want to stay in under a blanket. It’s not really that I am that agoraphobic these days; I think I am handling things fairly good actually. I am not feeling all freaked out and wanting to hide in the metro. I am mostly annoyed by people being loud and obnoxious but I am not wishing I could run away. I guess I can count this as being a good thing. I mean I have to look back and acknowledge that I am doing better. Maybe I am not exactly who I want to be because I still live with a lot of fears, but it does not mean that I am not on the right mindset.
I kinda feel self-conscious; I am not satisfied with my body. I am still having some trouble with ibs and I feel bloated most of the time. The good thing is that I have taken the time and the ressources a little while back to work on my wardrobe. I have a good variety of clothes in which I feel at ease in addition of them being nice and interesting. I mean no matter what, even if I feel unconfortable in my skin I still look pretty good and stylish too. Now what I need to do is to start to use wii fit again. It will take a certain effort, but it will be rewarding. I don’t want to expect to be in great shape and have a killer body, but I’d like to be able to look at myself in the mirror and think that I am looking good.
Today I kept on thinking about how I wanted to be able to be creative again. Anything really but in the ways I wish. I am doing copperwork/enamel and I have done a few really nice pieces. I know I have to consider that being creative, but I’d like to do something like drawing, writing, doing a photoshoot… I’m tired, it is late. I just found both a questionnaire for character creation and for world creation. I’ll read them tomorrow when I get up…
