The fire inside

I have been feeling upset the past few days, especially yesterday.  It is bothering me a lot that I don’t feel like I can create anything of any consquence.  Sure I am doing what I am asked to do in class, but just like when I was at Transart doing enamel/copperwork, I don’t feel like it is actually an act of creation.  I just want to be excited about creating.  Wake up in the morning feeling all energetic because I know that I am going to express something, because I am going to give birth to my art.  But there is nothing happening, and I feel grey inside, and it hurts badly.  I don’t have the fire inside…  I’ve archived everything that was in my folder on the computer; I wanted to start fresh, go forward and stop looking at what I have done in the past.  But to be honest, it does not seem to be working.  I am expecting to have an epiphany, have a force decent on me.  something that will fill me so very completely that I will be in ecstasy.  Creating makes me feel alive, and right now I don’t have that.  I feel rather empty and very sad.  I really don’t know what to do. I know that I need to simply accept things as they are and enjoy my life.  Things will fall into place when the time is right.  But I am very impatient and want to feel magnificient now.  Not tomorrow, not in a month, right frakking now.  I don’t want to be panicking but this is what is happening; I can’t stop thinking about wanting to create something that I would feel is flowing out of me.  I’m trying to live in the present, I am trying to be in the Now instead of sending myself right into a pit of despair.  I will not lose hope, things will turn out alright, I will be able to create wonderful things, I will be able to be relaxed, I will be able to have a wonderully interesting life, I will be able to be happy.